Momotaro x Mindful Intimacy Pt.3
Myth No. 2
In Myth #2, we dive into the idea that women are expected to have fully developed sexual identities—that we should instinctively know what we want, what feels good, and how to communicate it. But this assumption couldn’t be further from the truth. Most women have never been given the space, tools, or guidance to explore their preferences, leaving many of us disconnected from our authentic desires. (And what do jeans have to do with it? Keep reading to find out!)
Myth #2: We Have Fully Developed Sexual Identities
Here’s a question for you: Do you know the fit of jeans you love? Most of us do. Whether it’s high-rise, mid-rise, skinny, or bootcut, we can describe exactly what feels good on our bodies and what doesn’t.
But when it comes to intimacy, how many of us can name what we like and don’t like with that same clarity?
Society pushes the myth that we already have fully developed sexual identities—that we’re supposed to instinctively know exactly what we want, what feels good, and how to communicate it. But the truth is, most of us don’t. More importantly, most of us haven’t been given the tools, guidance, or space to figure it out.
And what we do know about intimacy? It’s often shaped by what we’ve been told or shown by a partner—information that’s limited, incomplete, or influenced by their own needs and agenda. This leaves many of us without a clear sense of what we truly want or how to express it.
It’s just like wearing a pair of jeans that aren’t the right fit—uncomfortable and unappealing, leaving us generally uninterested in “wearing” them at all. But here’s the thing: when we take the time to figure out what works for us, we open ourselves up to the fun, joy, and confidence of finding the perfect fit—whether it’s jeans or intimacy.
Why This Matters in Our Spiritual Practice
Taking the time to learn and listen to our most authentic selves is not just an act of self-discovery—it’s deeply spiritual. When we live from that place of authenticity, we naturally experience more ease, more joy, and more freedom, because these are the qualities of who we truly are at our core.
But when we live any aspect of our lives in a way that’s not meant for us—whether it’s wearing jeans that don’t fit, staying in a job that drains us, or approaching intimacy in a way that feels misaligned—we move further and further away from ease, joy, and freedom. We lose alignment with who we really are.
Just because someone loves a flare cut doesn’t mean you have to. Your journey is about finding what fits you—in jeans, in intimacy, and in life. When we listen to and honor our authentic selves, we move closer to alignment and start living from a place of clarity and purpose.
An Exercise to Begin Exploring Your Preferences
One of the most powerful ways to start discovering what works for you is through reflection. Inspired by The Better Sex Blueprint course, here’s an exercise to help you start breaking through this myth:
✨ Journaling Prompts:
1️⃣ What messages have I absorbed about what I’m “supposed” to like or want?
2️⃣ What feels unclear or unknown to me about my own preferences?
3️⃣ What would it look like to begin getting curious about what I truly enjoy?
Take time with these prompts, and allow curiosity to replace judgment. You don’t have to know all the answers right away—the process of exploration is where transformation begins.
Join the Free Webinar
Ready to go deeper? In our upcoming free webinar, we’ll bust this myth (and two others!) while sharing practical tools to help you reconnect with yourself, explore your preferences, and rewrite your story.
📅 When: Tuesday, 1/28 @ 8 PM EST
📍 Where: [SIGN UP HERE]
