Mindful Intimacy with Dr Paz Pt. 2

Get Your Head in the Game

TIP 1: THE BRAIN IS THE PRIMARY SEX ORGAN
Today we keep revealing our 3 Tips for Better More Mindful Intimacy Guide with a fact that might shock some but will come as no surprise to many. The brain is actually the primary sex organ. Like most things in our body (outside of the brilliant enteric nervous system- but thats a story for another day) the brain is in charge of initiating intimacy or not- as it were. So before we go hunting for what the problems are between the sheet we need to look at what’s happening between our ears and just as important how are we speaking to the mind of our intended partners? If we want to have fun intimate time in the bedroom but we spend all of our time outside the bedroom picking on each other and not spending any time together- well there’s just no way to expect physical intimacy to come easily.

Think back to when you were dating- so much time was spent tending to the mind of the other person and so much was also spent inside our own minds thinking lovingly about our partners in so many ways. And back then there was no shortage of physical intimacy. The brain was being tended to!

How to:
Start with these three prompts- get a journal out and start by writing the prompt and then keep going, as long as you can go, until you feel like you hit something true and real. An “aha” moment.

1. If I am radically honest with myself when i think about my partner right now I think….
2. If I am radically honest with myself the way I tend to my partners mind is….
3. My highest dream for how we take care of each other and speak to each other outside of the bedroom is…

TOOL 1: Get your head in the game
Mindfully begin to reprogram how you talk to and think about your partner.

How to:
1. Take your answer from number three above and put it in your phone as a daily reminder in the mornings or tape it to your bathroom mirror- but put ti some place you will see it early in the day to remind you of what you want to take into your day as a foundation for interacting with your partner.

2. With zero pressure for physical intimacy- spend today (at least!) observing how you speak to and think about your partner. Maybe even start a notepad on your phone to help you collect data in real time. Be ready to be radically honest and see what you find. Most of us would be shocked to see the little ways we dismiss or invalidate the people we love so much. If you catch yourself in one of these moments- don’t fret! Once we see it we can change it!

Try saying: “Side note- I don’t like how I just spoke to you- I love you and I want to try to say that a different way” (Then say the thing in is different way.) If that feels too hard in the moment you can send a text message or leave a and written note. Taking responsibility for how we are in a relationship is a BIG step toward thawing even the deepest frost ;)

Now off you go! Get your head in the game and don’t forget to sign up so you can update and info about upcoming events with Dr Paz. Sign up HERE