Balanced Back-to- School Pt. 1
The Solo Cup
Nope this is not your college days red Solo Cup this is the grown up spiritual kind. This kind of Solo Cup can change your world, wether you are a mother or not…
Nobody tells you how scary it can be to become a mom. In the early days especially while we are learning how to feed and worried that there’s not enough milk and there’s never enough sleep and you don’t know what the cries mean yet and your body is healing and your relationship with you partner is changing and on and on and on life becomes one reaction after another. Baby cries you respond, the timer goes off you respond, the baby cries you wake, the fridge is empty you respond etc etc. And sure that seems normal, right? But heres the thing: living in constant reaction is stressful and doesn’t leave room for doing anything mindfully. Our bodies are in a constant state of fight or flight. Waiting for the threat of danger and responding. And an important thing to remember about our nervous systems is that they don’t know the difference between you seeing a bear and needing to run or the sound of a crying baby waking you in the night. You have the same stress/hormonal response either way.
And so, as a new mom, I was experiencing all of this stress (which can certainly be neutralized by a supportive community but that’s a topic for another time, another post and Rebranding Birth ;)) but my stress was compounded by coming out of a trauma experience in the NICU (I know I m not alone in experiencing some sort of birthing trauma). Suffice it to say- something had to give. I was NOT ok.
Luckily for me, I have a big sister. And my big sister empowered me to get my lil love on a schedule. And I did. What happened next changed my mothering life forever…
Once my daughter was consistently waking at 7am, and I was dying to get back to a little piece of my yoga practice, I decided to go wild one morning and set my alarm for 30min before her wake up. I had long been an early morning meditator/journaler and wondered if there was a way to work this in to my new motherhood life. Well, it worked. I didn’t journal or meditate but I sat alone in my living room and sat still with no one needing me for 30 whole minutes. It was divine!
When 7am rolled around, I went in to greet my daughter to start our day. And there it was! I was not longer reacting to life! I got to start the day and be the one driving the bus for the rest of the day as a result. It was GAME CHANGING and I have never looked back. In the end 30min more of sleep wasn’t going to make or break my day but 30min of alone time and access to a proactive day would. Now that my kids are older we still maintain a quiet house until 7am. My kids know that before that time of the day is Mommy solo time. If they wake before that time they have their own solo practices that they like to do before the day starts. And by mirroring my own spiritual practice and boundaries around self care, I am giving them the right to do the same for themselves.
So here is my challenge to you….
For this week, set your alarm a few minutes early, even 15min is helpful. Get yourself a cup of coffee or tea or whatever morning ritual works for you and sit in the quiet. Wake up before you “need” to so that you can have time to explore the parts of your mind that are outside of the grind of the day to day. Opening life up to be more than reactionary is a tiny change that adds up to HUGE transformation over time.
I promise you will notice a change.
(Side note: people often ask me if they can just have quiet time at night after the day is done. Alas, it is not the same. Starting the day with this sort of proactivity and taking it in to your day can’t be recreated at night. Though an evening quiet time practice has it’s own big benefits that can’t be underestimated but that again, is for another post and another time ;))
FREE JOURNAL PAGES
After a few days you may start to notice that you crave a place to write down the thoughts you are having or the feelings that are coming up. Journalling is a part of the mindfulness journey for a reason ;). To make writing even easier I am including some pretty journal pages for you here for free. Print something pretty and put it near the area you will sit in the morning and feel something special start to brew.
